Leaving here for months, suddenly get inspired to come back, a place which won't reject me from staying, a place which let me to share my thoughts. I really miss you a lot.

Has anyone here felt the changing of yourself in your life? How it feels? Horrible? Hatred? or Better?
Has anyone here experienced the loneliness, while being reject, while no-one willing to understand you, cares about you, support you, no encouragement, no consolation?
Has anyone here made a single decision which could change everything in your life, without peoples' support and suggestion? How did you feel?

I cannot really confirm that I have experienced everything above, but I do feel like that before, and now still, sometimes, I do. I cant manage to control myself, to think in a negative way. I am trying very hard, not to feel frustrated, not to give up; but when sometimes it comes to me, I cannot even resist. I hate the feelings.
I want everything that belong to me, back to me. My toughness, bravely, happiness and all.. I keep on thinking and thinking, since when, I became so weak and easy to be affected? since when, I became very care of others' opinions? I keep on asking myself, why? I am not this type of person last time, I do not care about what others say, if I am right, I really wont care last time. Does this mean I did wrong this time? Do I have to feel regret? Do I have to give up this way? Do I have to apologize? Is this all punishment or it is just a big waves and thunder storm that I have to pass through in my life? Is this all just have to strengthen me, to make me stronger? It had been 30 days, a month, I have been very struggle. The days are tough. It feels like passing a year. I lost my own self, I lost my mind, and everything. I want to delete all them, but I feel grudge to do that, I am not willing at all. And here, thankful to a person, who understands, the only person, who really forgiving to me. but sorry too, I am still me of the last time. I cant manage to give up yet, I don't want, I am not ready to lose them yet. maybe, slowly, they'll be blur and disappear in my mind, but don't wait, I wont blame if you gonna change your mind :) maybe gonna be better.

Everyday, hoping for a better tomorrow. yes, right, the most difficult thing, is to know ourselves, true.

Labels: carOlicious♥Thought

Back to TOP

Leaving here for months, suddenly get inspired to come back, a place which won't reject me from staying, a place which let me to share my thoughts. I really miss you a lot.

Has anyone here felt the changing of yourself in your life? How it feels? Horrible? Hatred? or Better?
Has anyone here experienced the loneliness, while being reject, while no-one willing to understand you, cares about you, support you, no encouragement, no consolation?
Has anyone here made a single decision which could change everything in your life, without peoples' support and suggestion? How did you feel?

I cannot really confirm that I have experienced everything above, but I do feel like that before, and now still, sometimes, I do. I cant manage to control myself, to think in a negative way. I am trying very hard, not to feel frustrated, not to give up; but when sometimes it comes to me, I cannot even resist. I hate the feelings.
I want everything that belong to me, back to me. My toughness, bravely, happiness and all.. I keep on thinking and thinking, since when, I became so weak and easy to be affected? since when, I became very care of others' opinions? I keep on asking myself, why? I am not this type of person last time, I do not care about what others say, if I am right, I really wont care last time. Does this mean I did wrong this time? Do I have to feel regret? Do I have to give up this way? Do I have to apologize? Is this all punishment or it is just a big waves and thunder storm that I have to pass through in my life? Is this all just have to strengthen me, to make me stronger? It had been 30 days, a month, I have been very struggle. The days are tough. It feels like passing a year. I lost my own self, I lost my mind, and everything. I want to delete all them, but I feel grudge to do that, I am not willing at all. And here, thankful to a person, who understands, the only person, who really forgiving to me. but sorry too, I am still me of the last time. I cant manage to give up yet, I don't want, I am not ready to lose them yet. maybe, slowly, they'll be blur and disappear in my mind, but don't wait, I wont blame if you gonna change your mind :) maybe gonna be better.

Everyday, hoping for a better tomorrow. yes, right, the most difficult thing, is to know ourselves, true.

Labels: carOlicious♥Thought

Back to TOP

Call me Carol
Dog lover.
Leo baby.

Read my blog often and you'll know more about my awesomeness LOL :D Thank you!
Enjoy your staying here!

xoxo,
Carolicious.
have a nice day!

Attention!

NO copycat, spammer.
Please respect.
Don't like me? Click the HOT-RED{X}Button on the right-top and BYE.