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Hello people :) I am backed. Finally I can manage to sit in front of the lappie to blog! and today I feel much better than last 2 days. I was admitted into hospital and stay inside the ladies' ward [ward 8, bed 16] on Friday. I have nothing to do inside, is totally BORING!! I brought along my "undang" book and done 400 questions the whole day. what a wasted friday! A nurse came to help me to inject a small tube into my hand for "intravenous drip" of sodium chloride solution, the nurse failed to get the tube into the right position -_- then she pulled it out again and my hand keep bleeding, it was very omfg painful!! Then she called a doctor to do it for me. I cant even  sleep well for the whole night, because I have to stop eating and drinking water from 12am, my throat was so dry and also the nurse keep on testing my blood pressure and temperature the whole night. The next morning, I feel nothing at all when they are sending me to the operation room since I have taken the tranquilizer. The operation took 2 hours to finish. Once I enter the operation room, I feel very cold and the only thing I can see is just the lights. I can't remember the situation clearly now, I feel that I have a temporary amnesia after the operation -_-.. What I can remember is when anesthetist asked me to breathe harder, next , I was already in the ward and started feeling painful. I felt that I was awake, I can move but I can't open my eyes. I slept for the whole afternoon and I thought I can back home in the evening but so unluckily my temperature raised, I had fever! and I have to stay for one more night!! It's kinda hard for me to pass the night. I don't know how to explain the situation clearly here and I think that's all I can share. :$

I am feeling much better now, the only thing is just the swelling of my face, and I cant even open my mouth to eat and talk properly. I can only eat oats and porridge now. or maybe bread. I am going to post the photo of me here, please don't get scared of it. Just imagine when my face swollen. -_-...

Labels: Life♥, Orthognatic Surgery♥

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Today, I am here to share with you all about the process of my  Orthognathic Surgery. This will be a long process. You can click here to check what's all about the surgery.

 I started visiting dentist since I was 13, due to my uneven arrangement of teeth and the lower jaw is much more longer than the upper jaw. I am very dissatisfy of my teeth arrangement. I am so envy of those people who has nice smile v nice teeth. As you know, anyone who does not have nice teeth will lost their confident to smile every time, and this problems happen on me too. I was facing lots of dental problem last time. When I first visited dentist, she told me that my situation at that moment cannot do orthodontic braces to my teeth, as my gum had some infection. I was very disappointed and start to take good care of the gum, and I strongly recommend the tooth paste Oral-B which was very effective for gum care. And slowly, the infection of my gum cured. Then I visited dentist again. She made appointment for me to have a X-ray at Hospital Tunku Jaafar at Seremban. Then she started to discuss my problems with other doctor. She said that my lower jaw is longer , and my upper jaw is small. In this situation, the only way to cure is orthognathic surgery. She asked me to think properly about this surgery because this is not a minor operation. and also, after this operation, my appearance would change. I can do the surgery if I am really dissatisfy of my look of the currently. I used a long time, about 1 year, to think about it and do a lot of researches from the internet. Lastly, yes, I decided to do. I want to try. I want a better look. Firstly my parent and relatives were very disagree, since it was my decision, and it gives benefits after the operation, lastly they approve. This surgery have to take a long time to finish since it contain a lot of procedures. Somehow, this year I have to sit for SPM. My surgeon said that this surgery has to take 3 years time, and after the surgical operation, I need about 5-6 months or a year to have my normal eating habits back and to become fully recover. Firstly, I have to remove 4 teeth in a small operation, second, putting orthodontic braces for about 1 year, then remove braces and lastly orthognathic surgery:)

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I had my 1st term exam result. It's not as worse as I think before :) The worst subject gonna be add maths, when I see the test paper which had been marked , what? 40 marks? E ????!! just at the corner, to fail.. I was like..so terrible.. and take a look with the correct answers, some questions, is easy, and I think I can did it right. But I dont know why I fail to do it during the exam. some of them, I left BLANK...what am I thinking at the moment? too nervous? I spent too much time on those harder questions. and so LUCKILY, some of them I did it correctly. When I check clearly, thank god, teacher has counted wrong my marks, it was 51.. at least. C now.. other subject is just okay. I can do better isn't it? :)
I use to, suppose to accept my life now right? I suppose to take everything, as normal. Do not care and think over too right? Those things had left away, and I am not suppose to care about it anymore. Only few months to go. I can tolerance. I can act to be nothing at all ! :) I can only tell myself: "yeah, this is life, life is going to be like this". I have did a psychological test just now, from a magazine, it said that my life is going "fashionable" enough, but my life is kinda hard and tough? huh? at that time I asked myself, huh? is it? LOL, forget it... just a test what.. right, I should not believe it, it may be hard for now, currently only. I know it will not last long. I am not going to leave any feeling on it? should I? since they seems no longer care about it already, I dont have to hope for too much right.

Don't try , you will not know the password~ 

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"This wasn't a choice between you and Jacob. It was a choice between who I am and who I should be."

-Bella Swan.

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I dont know why am I so stubborn. I did a very capricious thing today! D': Though capricious, at least, maybe I won't feel regret when I think of it next time. Coin decide for me, means god allow? No matter how, I already did it. I have never feel the big bravery of myself for so long. It suddenly came back in this morning. "Bravery, you are so strange to me nowadays! Where have you been for so long? I have been finding you hardly and missing you so badly D:" 

Having seriously stomachache[menstrual pain] and leg muscles cramp from last night. Forced to eat the pink pill finally. If not I'm going to roll myself on the bed & floor again-_- lol..


Sugar is accompanying for this lonely day-today. Actually tonight I m going to be home-alone, but friends suggested to steamboat at my house later. Luckily, if not I dunno what I can do for the whole night!

Labels: carOlicious♥Thought, Life♥, Sugar♥

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Bad day. I cannot complete what I promise myself to do today. Nowadays I set a to-do list for myself, listed works and jobs for myself to do, as many as possible,to prevent myself stepping in to the negative thinking way again. so that the cross mark will slowly become lesser as day goes on. I believe that I can let the calendar to be clean one day. trust me :) because I know, it is the time to stop rewinding and playing back. they all become very impossible. hopeless and "chance-less". Yes, is hard, but I am ok with it.



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I am totally not willing to be cruel. I am not, I never ever want. Just because the words you said, they killed the cells in my heart.

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Today wasn't a bad day, although there's still a CROSS at the calendar, but today was just normal. not too tough, not easy going. really really thank you, for understanding :) I will be okay. I knew I am so selfish and this payoff will be kinda hard for you. We just can make our own way. will be better! We will be release. Jiayou.  . 

Labels: carOlicious♥Thought, Songs♥

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Leaving here for months, suddenly get inspired to come back, a place which won't reject me from staying, a place which let me to share my thoughts. I really miss you a lot.

Has anyone here felt the changing of yourself in your life? How it feels? Horrible? Hatred? or Better?
Has anyone here experienced the loneliness, while being reject, while no-one willing to understand you, cares about you, support you, no encouragement, no consolation?
Has anyone here made a single decision which could change everything in your life, without peoples' support and suggestion? How did you feel?

I cannot really confirm that I have experienced everything above, but I do feel like that before, and now still, sometimes, I do. I cant manage to control myself, to think in a negative way. I am trying very hard, not to feel frustrated, not to give up; but when sometimes it comes to me, I cannot even resist. I hate the feelings.
I want everything that belong to me, back to me. My toughness, bravely, happiness and all.. I keep on thinking and thinking, since when, I became so weak and easy to be affected? since when, I became very care of others' opinions? I keep on asking myself, why? I am not this type of person last time, I do not care about what others say, if I am right, I really wont care last time. Does this mean I did wrong this time? Do I have to feel regret? Do I have to give up this way? Do I have to apologize? Is this all punishment or it is just a big waves and thunder storm that I have to pass through in my life? Is this all just have to strengthen me, to make me stronger? It had been 30 days, a month, I have been very struggle. The days are tough. It feels like passing a year. I lost my own self, I lost my mind, and everything. I want to delete all them, but I feel grudge to do that, I am not willing at all. And here, thankful to a person, who understands, the only person, who really forgiving to me. but sorry too, I am still me of the last time. I cant manage to give up yet, I don't want, I am not ready to lose them yet. maybe, slowly, they'll be blur and disappear in my mind, but don't wait, I wont blame if you gonna change your mind :) maybe gonna be better.

Everyday, hoping for a better tomorrow. yes, right, the most difficult thing, is to know ourselves, true.

Labels: carOlicious♥Thought

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Hello people :) I am backed. Finally I can manage to sit in front of the lappie to blog! and today I feel much better than last 2 days. I was admitted into hospital and stay inside the ladies' ward [ward 8, bed 16] on Friday. I have nothing to do inside, is totally BORING!! I brought along my "undang" book and done 400 questions the whole day. what a wasted friday! A nurse came to help me to inject a small tube into my hand for "intravenous drip" of sodium chloride solution, the nurse failed to get the tube into the right position -_- then she pulled it out again and my hand keep bleeding, it was very omfg painful!! Then she called a doctor to do it for me. I cant even  sleep well for the whole night, because I have to stop eating and drinking water from 12am, my throat was so dry and also the nurse keep on testing my blood pressure and temperature the whole night. The next morning, I feel nothing at all when they are sending me to the operation room since I have taken the tranquilizer. The operation took 2 hours to finish. Once I enter the operation room, I feel very cold and the only thing I can see is just the lights. I can't remember the situation clearly now, I feel that I have a temporary amnesia after the operation -_-.. What I can remember is when anesthetist asked me to breathe harder, next , I was already in the ward and started feeling painful. I felt that I was awake, I can move but I can't open my eyes. I slept for the whole afternoon and I thought I can back home in the evening but so unluckily my temperature raised, I had fever! and I have to stay for one more night!! It's kinda hard for me to pass the night. I don't know how to explain the situation clearly here and I think that's all I can share. :$

I am feeling much better now, the only thing is just the swelling of my face, and I cant even open my mouth to eat and talk properly. I can only eat oats and porridge now. or maybe bread. I am going to post the photo of me here, please don't get scared of it. Just imagine when my face swollen. -_-...

Labels: Life♥, Orthognatic Surgery♥

Back to TOP





Today, I am here to share with you all about the process of my  Orthognathic Surgery. This will be a long process. You can click here to check what's all about the surgery.

 I started visiting dentist since I was 13, due to my uneven arrangement of teeth and the lower jaw is much more longer than the upper jaw. I am very dissatisfy of my teeth arrangement. I am so envy of those people who has nice smile v nice teeth. As you know, anyone who does not have nice teeth will lost their confident to smile every time, and this problems happen on me too. I was facing lots of dental problem last time. When I first visited dentist, she told me that my situation at that moment cannot do orthodontic braces to my teeth, as my gum had some infection. I was very disappointed and start to take good care of the gum, and I strongly recommend the tooth paste Oral-B which was very effective for gum care. And slowly, the infection of my gum cured. Then I visited dentist again. She made appointment for me to have a X-ray at Hospital Tunku Jaafar at Seremban. Then she started to discuss my problems with other doctor. She said that my lower jaw is longer , and my upper jaw is small. In this situation, the only way to cure is orthognathic surgery. She asked me to think properly about this surgery because this is not a minor operation. and also, after this operation, my appearance would change. I can do the surgery if I am really dissatisfy of my look of the currently. I used a long time, about 1 year, to think about it and do a lot of researches from the internet. Lastly, yes, I decided to do. I want to try. I want a better look. Firstly my parent and relatives were very disagree, since it was my decision, and it gives benefits after the operation, lastly they approve. This surgery have to take a long time to finish since it contain a lot of procedures. Somehow, this year I have to sit for SPM. My surgeon said that this surgery has to take 3 years time, and after the surgical operation, I need about 5-6 months or a year to have my normal eating habits back and to become fully recover. Firstly, I have to remove 4 teeth in a small operation, second, putting orthodontic braces for about 1 year, then remove braces and lastly orthognathic surgery:)

Labels: Life♥, Orthognatic Surgery♥

Back to TOP





Password


hidden text

Labels: Secrets♥

Back to TOP





I had my 1st term exam result. It's not as worse as I think before :) The worst subject gonna be add maths, when I see the test paper which had been marked , what? 40 marks? E ????!! just at the corner, to fail.. I was like..so terrible.. and take a look with the correct answers, some questions, is easy, and I think I can did it right. But I dont know why I fail to do it during the exam. some of them, I left BLANK...what am I thinking at the moment? too nervous? I spent too much time on those harder questions. and so LUCKILY, some of them I did it correctly. When I check clearly, thank god, teacher has counted wrong my marks, it was 51.. at least. C now.. other subject is just okay. I can do better isn't it? :)
I use to, suppose to accept my life now right? I suppose to take everything, as normal. Do not care and think over too right? Those things had left away, and I am not suppose to care about it anymore. Only few months to go. I can tolerance. I can act to be nothing at all ! :) I can only tell myself: "yeah, this is life, life is going to be like this". I have did a psychological test just now, from a magazine, it said that my life is going "fashionable" enough, but my life is kinda hard and tough? huh? at that time I asked myself, huh? is it? LOL, forget it... just a test what.. right, I should not believe it, it may be hard for now, currently only. I know it will not last long. I am not going to leave any feeling on it? should I? since they seems no longer care about it already, I dont have to hope for too much right.

Don't try , you will not know the password~ 

Password.


hidden text

Labels: carOlicious♥Thought, Life♥, Secrets♥

Back to TOP





Password.


 hidden text

Labels: carOlicious♥Thought, Secrets♥

Back to TOP





Password


hidden text

Labels: carOlicious♥Thought, Secrets♥

Back to TOP

"This wasn't a choice between you and Jacob. It was a choice between who I am and who I should be."

-Bella Swan.

Labels: carOlicious♥Thought

Back to TOP





I dont know why am I so stubborn. I did a very capricious thing today! D': Though capricious, at least, maybe I won't feel regret when I think of it next time. Coin decide for me, means god allow? No matter how, I already did it. I have never feel the big bravery of myself for so long. It suddenly came back in this morning. "Bravery, you are so strange to me nowadays! Where have you been for so long? I have been finding you hardly and missing you so badly D:" 

Having seriously stomachache[menstrual pain] and leg muscles cramp from last night. Forced to eat the pink pill finally. If not I'm going to roll myself on the bed & floor again-_- lol..


Sugar is accompanying for this lonely day-today. Actually tonight I m going to be home-alone, but friends suggested to steamboat at my house later. Luckily, if not I dunno what I can do for the whole night!

Labels: carOlicious♥Thought, Life♥, Sugar♥

Back to TOP





Bad day. I cannot complete what I promise myself to do today. Nowadays I set a to-do list for myself, listed works and jobs for myself to do, as many as possible,to prevent myself stepping in to the negative thinking way again. so that the cross mark will slowly become lesser as day goes on. I believe that I can let the calendar to be clean one day. trust me :) because I know, it is the time to stop rewinding and playing back. they all become very impossible. hopeless and "chance-less". Yes, is hard, but I am ok with it.



Back to TOP





I am totally not willing to be cruel. I am not, I never ever want. Just because the words you said, they killed the cells in my heart.

Labels: carOlicious♥Thought

Back to TOP





Today wasn't a bad day, although there's still a CROSS at the calendar, but today was just normal. not too tough, not easy going. really really thank you, for understanding :) I will be okay. I knew I am so selfish and this payoff will be kinda hard for you. We just can make our own way. will be better! We will be release. Jiayou.  . 

Labels: carOlicious♥Thought, Songs♥

Back to TOP





Leaving here for months, suddenly get inspired to come back, a place which won't reject me from staying, a place which let me to share my thoughts. I really miss you a lot.

Has anyone here felt the changing of yourself in your life? How it feels? Horrible? Hatred? or Better?
Has anyone here experienced the loneliness, while being reject, while no-one willing to understand you, cares about you, support you, no encouragement, no consolation?
Has anyone here made a single decision which could change everything in your life, without peoples' support and suggestion? How did you feel?

I cannot really confirm that I have experienced everything above, but I do feel like that before, and now still, sometimes, I do. I cant manage to control myself, to think in a negative way. I am trying very hard, not to feel frustrated, not to give up; but when sometimes it comes to me, I cannot even resist. I hate the feelings.
I want everything that belong to me, back to me. My toughness, bravely, happiness and all.. I keep on thinking and thinking, since when, I became so weak and easy to be affected? since when, I became very care of others' opinions? I keep on asking myself, why? I am not this type of person last time, I do not care about what others say, if I am right, I really wont care last time. Does this mean I did wrong this time? Do I have to feel regret? Do I have to give up this way? Do I have to apologize? Is this all punishment or it is just a big waves and thunder storm that I have to pass through in my life? Is this all just have to strengthen me, to make me stronger? It had been 30 days, a month, I have been very struggle. The days are tough. It feels like passing a year. I lost my own self, I lost my mind, and everything. I want to delete all them, but I feel grudge to do that, I am not willing at all. And here, thankful to a person, who understands, the only person, who really forgiving to me. but sorry too, I am still me of the last time. I cant manage to give up yet, I don't want, I am not ready to lose them yet. maybe, slowly, they'll be blur and disappear in my mind, but don't wait, I wont blame if you gonna change your mind :) maybe gonna be better.

Everyday, hoping for a better tomorrow. yes, right, the most difficult thing, is to know ourselves, true.

Labels: carOlicious♥Thought

Back to TOP

Call me Carol
Dog lover.
Leo baby.

Read my blog often and you'll know more about my awesomeness LOL :D Thank you!
Enjoy your staying here!

xoxo,
Carolicious.
have a nice day!

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